Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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