HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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