why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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