There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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