Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
