She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
