I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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