Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
