Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
