Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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