it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
