Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
