careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
