Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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