Kiss
Puke
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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