You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
