hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Randomize
