ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Are we in a gay sports bar?
from now on my penis is your penis
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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