oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize