The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just threw up on my dentist
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
