Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
