can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
