Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
it was like eating out sand paper
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
