You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You are the jesus of drinking
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
