I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
