I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
