dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
soo... how was my night?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
