Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize