My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
