i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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