I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize