hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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