I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Randomize
