just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
