there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
