I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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