I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
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