after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
