Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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