he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
