So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
