Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
