i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Let's get the cat blown out
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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