wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
