so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
My breath smells like gin and sadness
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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