her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
