Soap is not a condiment
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
