if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We need a shit load of segways right now
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
