yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
