I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
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