well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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