Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
