im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
