i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Ketchup is God's man juice
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
