hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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