guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You were trust falling into bushes
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
