think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
