every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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