I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
