what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
