She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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