i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
