so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
