and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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