Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
