would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
